is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
