i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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