I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I FOUND THE LEGS
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
