so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
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