she was so not down for the gang bang
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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