If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
