Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
