I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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