Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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