it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
