I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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