He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Randomize
