Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
