flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
