I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
