He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
