yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
