Dual....:-)
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
