Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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