If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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