I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
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