Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
