Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
