im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
