dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
