I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
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