I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
