I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
