Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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