we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
