We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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