Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
