I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
operation have a gay friend backfired
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
