This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
