Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
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