I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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