he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
