I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Omg I joined a choir last night...
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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