she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
do nipples grow back?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
