so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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