Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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