My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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