i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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