Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
