Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
