I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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