Porn is love you can see.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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