Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
