she woke up with a sticky ear
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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