At least make sure they are 18
Why
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
